In some parts of Europe, it's hard not to fall over a Christmas market between the months of November and January. Despite trying real hard.
Don't get me wrong, I love a glass or three of gluhwein (mulled wine), but I have my limits. It was my partners big birthday wish to take our Christmas on tour across eastern France and into Germany. Ok fine, I'll come too.
In a vain attempt to stem the Christmas cheer just a little, it was my idea to add Poland to the itinerary. How did that work out? Not a huge success, since Poland likes to continue Christmas into January.
I had initially intended to write this as one story, but fearing you may only have tolerance for one Christmas country at a time, I decided to break it down into the 4 individual articles below. But if you're curious why this article is named after a 1980's Chevy Chase movie, then read on after these...
Leaving Paris
We began the journey with a short stint in Paris. When we left, we headed for the metro to get to Gare de Lyon to catch our train to Dijon.
Simple, right? Apparently not.
I pride myself on my pre trip prep, even though I have been described as being a little OCD. It's a Scout thing.
I had noted both the train and metro options available, along with the times and distances from our hotel. My blunder on this day, was that I didn't update my metro information, and sometimes they close lines for maintenance. Rechecking would have saved a lot of stress.
Picture it - we're getting off the first of two Metro trains, excited to start our holiday proper, when we came across it in all its crushing glory - a barrier. It may as well have been a sign that read "Your journey ends here". As it happened, the Metro I chose terminated at a station where the connecting line was closed. We had two or more choices and chose wrong.
Paris Christmas market...meh.
We could have found another Metro route, but instead decided an Uber was a better option. It wasn't. It took forever to have one assigned, and an eternity before he arrived. When he eventually did, he spoke no English - our problem, not his, and then Anuschka tried to concuss the poor guy while closing the tailgate prematurely.
Despite all that, there was a glimmer of hope that we might still make it, provided our injured driver could see straight. However, when we arrived at the station, we couldn't enter the drop off point as the boom gate wasn't working. The driver tried his code repeatedly, but it wasn't happening.
We had no choice but to leg-it. We jumped out of the car, but not before catching a glimpse of the giant lump taking residence on the driver's forehead. And then we ran. Well, more of a frantic high-speed suitcase-trailing Python-esque scurry.
It soon dawned upon us that the departure gate was literally the other side of station - the furthest point from where we entered. We increased speed and some how made it to the gate. A very friendly official greeted, identified and guided us toward the train in a single almost Olympian motion.
And the take away from this debacle? Sometimes, even being well prepared in is not enough. Damn Scouts.
This journey continues in Homeless in Burgundy, France
